Beautiful Idiocy

Daniel Day Lewis should host an intense Saturday Night Live where he plays a mute paraplegic for the whole show 😦

I heard almonds are good brain food but where does the brain poop go… ? Just one of life’s beautiful mysteries I guess !

It’s funny that we “give thanks” on “Thanks giving” but at the buffet I can’t put mashed potatos in my pockets cuz I like the feel???? Obama’s America.

I like those Dewar’s ads with the fancy Scottish lady. She looks like she’s going to buy me a drink and then recruit me to a cult.

Pre-gaming Thanksgiving by huffin’ a cinnamon Febreeze and arguing with a dog about his politics.

I love this time of the year when I can just listen to heartwarming music, relax with the fam, & wrastle grandmas for flatscreens.

Mmmmm cozying up with a nice warm chicken broth latte is one of my favorites things.

They need to teach egg terminology in school. Poached? Sunny side up? It’s still a guess every time I order breakfast. What’s Obama doing about eggducation?

It’s all happening on my twitter, folks. Well sometimes. Not really. I’m sorry.

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