Hi guys and gals,
Andy here, founder and CEO of Cocopunk Industries. I’m excited to announce that today we are launching our very first iOS app, AutoComplain. It’s a groundbreaking new way to interact with your friends.
It’s been a long time coming, and really quite a journey. I remember when I had nothing but two lithe interns and a receptionist working out of my walk-in closet late into the night. After that first brainstorming session, I thought we’d never be able to accomplish our dream, but then when the brain lightning subsided and I changed my pants, my vision was clear and my team was biting at the chomp.
Today, I think it’s safe to say we’re going to change to world. It’s pretty exciting, amazing, and magical.
Tonight, join us at the launch party. Details pending. The interns are lagging and haven’t confirmed the venue.
Update: The intern passed out. Probably too much excitement, or exhaustion. Trying to feed her cookies. Oreos.
Update: The intern is okay but we’re afraid she might have inhaled some of the cookie crumbs. Trying to call expert at Nabisco.
Update: Lucy the intern quit unexpectedly. No two week notice. Unprofessional. She says I can have the party “Where the Sun Don’t Shine.” Probably the name of a new club. Checking Yelp.
Update: Finally reached expert at Nabisco. He says I shouldn’t chase after the intern. Checking her Facebook status.
Update: Does anyone know my Facebook password? Intern was in charge of the social networking. Nabisco doctor no longer returning my calls.
Update: Oh god having unexpected brainstorm. Can’t find thinking cap. Someone bring aspirin plz!
Update: Brain lightning stopped. Killer ideas but no one around to take notes. Something about a location-aware tea kettle and Doogie Howser reunion show.
Update: I’ve been told our app has been removed from the app store. Tragic. Supposedly crashes the phone if you hold it wrong. I can’t confirm because the interns took the computers and I use a Nokia. Venue for the pity party TBD.